


Harry Potter and I Can’t Think of Something Clever

by Will_Parsons



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Evil Arthur Weasley, Trans Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:01:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21611929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Will_Parsons/pseuds/Will_Parsons
Summary: Just a little creation to help me write that I thought was funny enough to post here.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	1. Rubber Ducky of Doom

Arthur cackled evilly, squeezing a rubber duck between his fingers.

“First, his money… Then, the world!!”

“Dad…” Ron whined, “Stop plotting against my friends, it’s weird.”

“Shush Ronald, plans do not make themselves!”

Ron sighed and left, receiving a sympathetic pat from George- Or was that Fred?

“Don’t worry, Ron.” One twin said.

“Yeah, Dad may make some crazy plots,” One twin continued.

“But they never work!”

“Heck, he sent Lee Jordan-“

“The spider fanatic himself-“

“A box full of spiders!” A twin finished.

Ginny snorted as she walked by, and stopped to face the boys.

“Oh really? What about that time, one week after my first sleepover with Luna, her house exploded?”

Molly sighed, scrubbing the kitchen sink.

“Oh, really you four! Stop talking about your father’s silly plots! Anyways, Ginny dear, that wasn’t your father that caused the explosion. It was Luna’s ridiculous mother, who luckily only landed herself in Saint Mungo’s. Mostly because we were there to help…” She muttered the last part.

“Oh, Ronald!” Arthur sung from the garage, still on his workbench. “What’s Harry’s address again?”

Ron sighed. “I’m not giving you my friend’s address so you can send him a cursed letter, Dad.”

Arthur pouted, though none of them could see it, and picked his blowtorch back up.

“Ah well, I guess I can work on some more muggle inventions for now!” He said, before cackling and bringing the blowtorch closer to the rubber ducky.

The rest of the family just sighed, and went back to their daily lives.


	2. Trans Harry

“So.” Harry said from behind, startling the two men- these being, of course, Sirius and Remus. “Instead of your guys’ idea of an all-out prank war, I figured we could do something fun for my birthday.”

After giving it a second to let it sink in that Harry had caught on to their idea, and insulted it, Harry continued. “I figured we could go to the States, rent out a hotel room and do some sightseeing.”

Sirius perked up at the word ‘sightseeing’, and Remus looked suspiciously at Harry.

“And what else would we be doing there?” Remus asked.

“Well…” Harry scratched at his (her?) chin, looking away. “I thought… maybe we could… lookatsalemwitchesacademy.” He (she?) quickly stammered out the last part.

Sorry, what was that Harry?” Sirius asked, a shit-eating grin plastering his face.

“I,” Harry squeaked, before taking a deep breath. “Look at… look at Salem Witches Academy.”

Sirius did his best to look confused. “But Harry, you’re not a witch! Maybe we should have a talk about girls and boys. You see-” He started, before being cut off by Harry.

Harry, with his (her?) face covered by his (her?) hands, managed to ground out “What if I am a witch?”

After a moment of shocked silence, Sirius looked at Remus from across the table, who looked like he was rebooting.

“Oh.” Sirius said, before standing up from his chair when Harry started to sniffle. “Hey, hey, hey now, there’s no need to cry little witch.”

Harry looked up at Sirius, eyes suspiciously shiny. She beamed, before looking over at Remus. 

Remus stood up, finally finished rebooting, and came over to the pair. He crouched down slightly, going to Harry’s level, and poked her nose.

She giggled, straining to make it sound light and tinkly instead of rough and growly.

Remus smiled, “I think it’s a wonderful idea to go to Salem Witch Academy, cub.”

Sirius picked up Harry in a bear hug, widely grinning. “We’re gonna get you so many dresses and skirts you won’t know what to do with ‘em!”


	3. The Dragons vs The Tigers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baseball, but dragons. What more do I have to say?

Harry Potter was a… strange boy. He had always had an unnatural interest towards animals, especially ting to make them play sports. When he met Hagrid, well…

“Swing, batter batter batter!!” Harry said, showing the Hungarian Horntail (Betty Joe) how to hit the ball with his faux tail.

Hagrid chuckled in amusement, watching one of the Norwegian Ridgebacks (Roy) bound after the ball and carefully grab it in its spike-filled mouth.

“Good boy!” Harry exclaimed, throwing a rat to Roy and beckoning him back.

After one more throw of the baseball, and watching Betty Joe finally hit it with her tail, Harry and Hagrid nodded and, in tandem, said, “They’re ready.”

-oOo-

Harry peeked over at the other team- The Tigers. This was their big debut, and he had to smile thinking about everybody cheering for his babies.

The game started, and the Tigers came out to lots of cheering.

All of the cheering stopped at Harry’s sharp whistle, and the subsequent stomping.

The Tigers all paled at the first roar, and were paper white as the last dragon came onto the field.

“Get em Betty!!!”


End file.
